He went on to say:
I
feel sorry for straight men. The only reason women will have sex with
them is that sex is the price they are willing to pay for a relationship
with a man, which is what they want. Of course, a lot of women will
deny this and say, ‘Oh no, but I love sex, I love it!’ But do they go
around having it the way that gay men do?
If women liked sex as much as men, there would be straight cruisingI could defensively argue that, wait, some women do like
areas in the way there are gay cruising areas. Women would go and hang
around in churchyards thinking: ‘God, I’ve got to get my fucking rocks
off’, or they’d go to Hampstead Heath and meet strangers to shag behind a
bush. It doesn’t happen. Why? Because the only women you can have sex
with like that wish to be paid for it.
casual sex as much as men! That is certainly true, but it misses the
point entirely. The real problem with Fry’s comments is that he appears
to qualify a person’s interest in sex in terms of their interest in
shtupping strangers. Per the usual, sex is defined in men’s (supposed)
terms: Real sex, sexy sex, is sex of the uncommitted wham-bam
variety. Sex within committed relationships is written off. Truly liking
sex means liking it with strangers, because emotion and intimacy dilute
sexual pleasure — or something.
Using this logic, you might as well say that most straight men don’t really
like sex because they don’t go to gay cruising areas for no-strings
hookups. If they really liked sex they would get off any way they could,
right? He doesn’t argue that, though, because disliking certain kinds
of sex is different from disliking sex. We all have sexual
preferences, as I’m sure Fry will readily admit. What he seems less
inclined to acknowledge is that women’s carnal proclivities are also
valid. That is sadly ironic coming from a gay man, given how often
homosexuality is pathologized.
