Actress Stella Damasus took to her Adiva blog yesterday to advice women on how to keep their men. Read it below:
“…let me go to the topic I want to discuss todayKeeping Your Man – By Stella Damasus
“keeping your man” This is for the married women o please this is not
targeted at single girls. Now we know that the one thing men cannot live
without apart from money is SEX. In this forum I really don’t care
where anyone is from or what religion you belong to, I will be as raw
and honest as possible.
I do not understand why women especially Africans do not talk about
sex when we know that it is the one thing we do regularly with so much
pleasure.
Read the full article below…
Hello ladies,
Been a while since you read from me and I am sorry about that.
However I never said I would be the only one writing for this blog. I
threw it open to members to send in their articles, concerns,
challenges, questions and other things to the Adiva email address and we
will publish it.
Not only that, we will get the experts/professionals to help answer
some of your questions, I am still waiting to hear from you all.
Anyway I have good news and that is the fact that you will be able to
watch me talk more/elaborate on things I will write in the blog. Yes o
my YouTube channel will be very very active soon with my new project
called Stella’s diaries.
You all need to look out for it because it will be very exciting as
usual. I will say it the way I see it and I am sure by now most of you
know I am not ashamed or afraid to speak my mind.
Anyway let me go to the topic I want to discuss today “keeping your
man”.This is for the married women o please this is not targeted at
single girls.
Now we know that the one thing men cannot live without apart from
money is SEX. In this forum I really don’t care where anyone is from or
what religion you belong to, I will be as raw and honest as possible.
I do not understand why women especially Africans do not talk about
sex when we know that it is the one thing we do regularly with so much
pleasure.
Anyway our men love sex to the max and we know that for a fact. So
how come when we are dating them we are so willing to give them what
they want even though we know it is wrong. The first few years of
marriage is filled with sex almost five times a day in different parts
of the house and at odd hours, but after the few years we start to back
down, we start to make excuses, we start to see it as a chore and then
we let them know that we are really not interested in them physically.
Wow, what happened to the lady fox, the hot chic, the sexy cat that he got married to?
What happened to the babe that would understand the signal he would give and immediately comply?
What happened those times when he would race home to his sexy energetic ever ready wife who would make him feel wanted?
I know that most of you will say “I have kids who wear me out, I have
work that drains me, I got older, my sex drive has gone under, I have a
headache” to the point that the man will need to get a visa at your
“embassy” to visit his favorite place in the World.
When you do this to him, how do you expect him to come home everyday to look at your tired, grumpy and unfriendly face?
How would you expect him to come home to you complaining about the
plumber, your child that was being rude, and your boss that gave you a
hard time?
NOOOOOOO please.
At that point he wants you to take him to that special place were the
sky is so wonderful and turn his brain around to the point that all you
say will sound like sweet music to his ears.
These men are human beings who go through their own challenges, half of
which you don’t even know because they are trying to save you from all
the stress.
What annoys me the most is when we women start to complain and nag
about the men not having time for us, and how they no longer find us
attractive anymore and that’s where the suspicion starts. That’s when
the saying comes, “if he is not getting it from me someone else must be
giving it to him’.
I don’t encourage cheating at all in fact it goes against what the
bible teaches no matter what. I will not also judge anyone who has been
caught in a web he is not proud of for one reason or the other. I
believe that if we are truly sorry for our sins and we go to God with
the determination not to sin again, he is merciful and will forgive us.
In all of this I know that all men are not beasts, neither are they
evil because we married them. I also know that men do not get married
and carry it at the back of their minds that they must cheat. That’s not
how it works please. There are things that we do that trigger things in
their brains and these things drive them to do things that they really
would not have done. Most of us believe it when they say men don’t think
with their brains but they think with their penis. I beg to differ
because they know what they are doing and I don’t see how the penis can
have a brain that will control the whole body. There is always something
that sparks off in the brain that sends the signal to the penis.
You may or may not agree with me but this is what I choose to believe.
Most men we married are not so evil and dubious, some may be cowards but
cast your mind back to the kind of man you chose to marry and see if
there were traces of that character or not.
What men want:
- They want to feel like they are in control of things which is not bad because they are the head.
- They want to feel loved and like it or not they are our first babies
who desire words of affirmation no matter how macho they seem.
- They want to feel WANTED all the time, it gives them the confidence that all men crave for.
- They want to know you are still sexually attracted to them.
- They don’t want you to make it obvious that you are smatter even if you are.
- They like their space and alone time.
- They don’t want to come home to a fat mama who is the opposite of the
sexy curvy woman he fell in love with, because she let herself go after
they got married.
Why should she try and look the same? She is married
now, who else does she have to impress?
WRONG! Men are first of all
moved by what they see before anything else. So when they can’t see that
anymore or at least an effort to getting back that body that turned
them on, they’ll probably lose interest in you and find it someone else.
- They don’t want to come and hug you after work with you are smelling
of onions and oil. At least take a shower before he gets there or if
there is no time spray perfume.
- They want to come home to a nice smelling neat and tidy home.
- They want to walk into the bedroom with the bed all made up and
clothes arranged. Maybe a small note on his pillow saying I love you and
I am glad you are home, that definitely puts an automatic smile on his
face even if for three seconds, it keeps him interested in you
- They want you to be a good listener not just a talker.
- They want to know that you believe in them and you are proud of them.
- They want to know that no matter what you will have their back and support them, then ask questions later.
- They just want to see that you are making an effort because no human should expect you to be perfect.
- They don’t want another mother but they want you to take care of them the way you would your kids.
- They want a wife, girlfriend, sorry to say (personal call girl) which
is not a bad thing because he is your husband who is free to express his
sexual desires as long as they are not life threatening or demeaning.
There are so many things I can add and you will not stop reading so
let me end this by saying: if you do not try to do at least 60 percent
of this regularly, trust me a younger version of you will cross his path
and that is exactly how the enemy works. When that younger and more
energetic version of you catches his eye, your matter will quietly end.
This girl will rock his world so bad that coming home to you will become
a chore. These girls can give him all these things and even more that
the men find it so difficult to resist. All the money that was supposed
to go to you and your children will find their way to her pocket. They
can get anything they want from your man because they know the secret to
getting and keeping him.
I know that this article will cause a lot of controversial wahala but
it is fine because in life people don’t like to hear the truth. This
might also be an opportunity for people to make silly comments but the
truth is I am loving it all. I finally have the attention of people who
will ordinarily not want to listen to me or watch me.
Ladies on a more serious note, if you are guilty of these crimes and
are depriving your husband of what is rightfully his then don’t be
shocked when a younger version of you gets the best of him.
I will let you all know when the extended version of this topic will be
on my YouTube channel. God will bless your homes and give you the wisdom
you need to keep it together.
Think about this objectively, try out what you agree with and discard
what you don’t. Leave the messenger out of it for a change and see the
bigger picture ahead.
Take care of yourselves and remember that I love you all.
