Friday, 19 September 2014

You’re about as sexually attractive to me as a turtle: Coming out as asexual in a hypersexual culture - Salon.com

You’re about as sexually attractive to me as a turtle: Coming out as asexual in a hypersexual culture - Salon.com





Let’s start with the most basic thing here: How do you personally define asexuality?



Asexuality,
most broadly, is a lack of sexual attraction. However, it’s a pretty
diverse spectrum, and some people prefer to say they aren’t interested
in sex, don’t like sex or feel that sex isn’t intrinsically rewarding.
Many asexual people, including me, will describe it as nobody seeming
sexy to them or nothing happening in reaction to someone being sex
y.





When did you discover that you were asexual?





I
was about 15 years old when I first started calling myself “nonsexual.”
That was in the mid-1990s, before there were Internet-based asexual
communities — well, really before there was much of an Internet. For me
it was almost a joke term at first; everybody else I knew found sex
intriguing and had their own complicated relationship with it, but to me
it seemed like a complete non-issue. I could tell if people were
physically attractive in a normative way, but that didn’t inspire any
reaction for me or any desire to be closer to them, possess them somehow
or touch them. I had no fantasies that involved sex or physical
intimacy, no dreams that I could recall on the subject, and certainly
didn’t enjoy the overtures others made toward me in that regard. So I
used the “nonsexual” term with the full understanding that I was fairly
young and with an expectation that I would grow and change. I did grow
and change. But that part of me didn’t.